What is your definition of slow?

My VP: People complain that these old computers are slow, but you just have to be patient. You can't rush it.

Transference

Most mornings, when I’m too lazy to brew it myself, I stop at Starbucks. It’s not that I’m a fan of Starbucks (I think ya’ll know my favorite latte, where the foam is sublime), it’s really about proximity and convenience. It’s on my walk to the el.

Everyone at that particular Starbucks is great. They are friendly and cheerful (not too cheerful), they remember me and my order. They are efficient. They get the job done. And manage to not annoy me before I’ve ingested caffeine.

Except one barista. Who is nice. Who seems a bit timid. Who smiles. Who speaks in a soft voice. Who irritates me. Inexplicably, grates on my nerves. I feel impatience rising in me when I realize he’s the one at the counter.

This barista has never done anything wrong. Never messed up an order, never taken too long. He’s perfectly fine. I just, chemically, have a reaction to him that fills me with annoyance.

Then one morning I realized what it was. He reminds me of someone I once dated. Someone who, initially I thought was as a nice guy, and this was my attraction to him. I then started to realize, it wasn’t so much that he was nice, it was that he was passive. And nice, well, it is the path of least resistance. It is the easier, lazier, safer choice. His passivity quickly became repulsive to me. Which in term made me a bit nasty to him. Which made him a bit whiny towards me. Which repulsed me more. Do you see the horrible cycle?

He wasn’t a bad guy. But with him, I was a bitch. And generally I’m often too nice for my own good.

So this poor barista, with the soft voice and the doughy face, well, I’m trying to not be unreasonably annoyed with him. I mean, he’s not to blame for my dating past. But really, it’s too much to process before I’ve had my coffee.

Full time headache

Me: the last pay period was 10 business days. You paid me for 78 hours.

Payroll: you worked 78 hours.

Me: but I’m full time.

Payroll: you get paid the hours you work.

Me: why don’t I get paid over time, like when I come in on Saturdays?

Payroll: because you are full time employee.

Me: then why wasn’t paid for 80 hours?

Payroll: because you get paid for the hours you work.

Do you understand why I have a headache?

More from my VP's Office

While I was sitting at my desk I heard him to say to one of my (male) co-workers, "Turn around. Look at your butt. You and your butt."

Things my VP has said to me:

"You know how women are…"

"Mr. (Blank) is too nice, we're trying to make him more like Amy."

"You know what they're like at that age." This was said to my colleague, who is my age.